Relationships by The School of Life (English) Hardcover Book

Description: Relationships by The School of Life RELATIONSHIPS calmly and charmingly takes us around the key issues of relationships, from arguments to sex, forgiveness to communication, making sure that success in love need never again be just a matter of luck. FORMAT Hardcover LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description Few things promise us greater happiness than our relationships - yet few things more reliably deliver misery and frustration. Our error is to suppose that we are born knowing how to love and that managing a relationship might therefore be intuitive and easy.This book starts from a different premise: that love is a skill to be learnt, rather than just an emotion to be felt. It calmly and charmingly takes us around the key issues of relationships, from arguments to sex, forgiveness to communication, making sure that success in love need never again be just a matter of luck. Notes A new route to achieving happiness in loving relationships. Flap Few things promise us greater happiness than our relationships - yet few things more reliably deliver misery and frustration. Our error is to suppose that we are born knowing how to love and that managing a relationship might therefore be intuitive and easy. This book starts from a different premise: that love is a skill to be learnt, rather than just an emotion to be felt. It calmly and charmingly takes us around the key issues of relationships, from arguments to sex, forgiveness to communication, making sure that success in love need never again be just a matter of luck. Author Biography The School of Life is devoted to developing emotional intelligence. It addresses issues such as how to find fulfilling work, how to master the art of relationships, how to understand ones past, how to achieve calm, and how better to understand and - where necessary - change the world. These ideas are delivered through a range of channels: from videos, books, and products - to classes, events, and one-to-one therapy sessions.The School of Life Press brings together the thinking and ideas of the School of Life creative team under the direction of series editor, Alain de Botton. Their books share a coherent, curated message that speaks with one voice: calm, reassuring, and sane. Table of Contents Post-Romanticism | The Problems of Closeness | Partner-As-Child | Politeness and Secrets | Explaining Ones Madness | Crushes | Sexual Non-Liberation Promotional A fresh approach to matters of the heart, showing that love is a skill we can learn, and success in love need never again be just a matter of luck. Long Description Few things promise us greater happiness than our relationships - yet few things more reliably deliver misery and frustration. Our error is to suppose that we are born knowing how to love and that managing a relationship might therefore be intuitive and easy.This book starts from a different premise: that love is a skill to be learnt, rather than just an emotion to be felt. It calmly and charmingly takes us around the key issues of relationships, from arguments to sex, forgiveness to communication, making sure that success in love need never again be just a matter of luck. Excerpt from Book Chapter 8 - The Dignity of Ironing When intelligent and sensitive people - guided by Romanticism - come together in relationships, they tend to be agreed on an implicit hierarchy of what is and isnt important for the success and endurance of their love. They tend to be highly aware of the importance of spending time together (perhaps in museums or by the sea), of having fulfilling sex, of assembling a circle of interesting friends and of reading stimulating books. They are unlikely to give much thought, however, to the question of who will do the ironing. Part of the reason is that when Romantic writers explored the troubles of relationships in their works, they never talked about laundry. They tended to draw attention to an important, but notably limited, range of issues. The great Russian poet Alexander Pushkin depicted unrequited love in Eugene Onegin. Gustave Flaubert examined boredom and infidelity in Madame Bovary. Jane Austen was acutely attentive to how differences in social status could pose obstacles to a couples chances of contentment. In Italy, the most widely read novel of the 19th century - The Betrothed by Alessandro Manzoni - discussed how political corruption and large historical events could overwhelm a relationship. All the great Romantic writers were - in their different ways - deeply interested in what might make it hard for a relationship to go well. Unfortunately, there is a crucial omission in this catalogue. Little attention or enthusiasm has been directed at domestic things - a word that sums up the key, practical, recurrent questions of a shared life, ranging from responsibility for doing the shopping or cleaning the fridge to whether a cousin needs to be invited to dinner or whether to go on holiday to the same place we went last year. According to Romanticism, these arent significant issues. A relationship should be about elevated factors: intense passions, heroic loyalty, and integrity in the face of conventional prejudice. The daily tasks and squabbles of domestic existence feel, by contrast, unworthy of attention. Prompted by this background attitude, we dont weigh up domestic factors carefully when forming a relationship. We dont readily acknowledge that contrasting attitudes to such things as cleaning the bath or spontaneously inviting friends round for a drink will need to be handled with immense care and could otherwise wreck a joint life. If a dispute feels high-status, we dont mind lavishing time and intelligence on it. We are more patient because we understand its going to be difficult. (We dont throw our hands up in the air when we havent found a new job or a better place to live after five minutes.) A Romantic attitude to love makes certain conflicts look minor - what level to set the thermostat to, or whether all the cutlery needs to match - so we flare up when they start to dominate our lives, as things like these inevitably will. One strategy we might deploy to calm ourselves down is tell ourselves that its not worth getting worked up over a tiny detail. We should try to stop caring about whether soon means in the next five minutes or in the next week or whether it is disgusting (or lovely) to read the newspaper while sitting on the loo. But this doesnt really work because - as we readily admit around the arts - details are crucial: they are the tiny points at which grand themes come into focus. We accept that a poet will agonise over the choice of a single word; equally, a whole attitude to life may seem to be summarised in the way a person squeezes a toothpaste tube or how loudly or quietly they close a door. Characteristically, we dont budget adequately for such disputes. What is infuriating is not the difficulty in itself, but the difficulty being there when we dont think it should be. We havent anticipated it, and havent been educated to deal with it. Rather than ignoring contentious details, we should try to budget better for them. The starting place is a frank avowal that living with another person is both tricky and important. Of course, there will be many small sticking points where the overarching nature of our two characters is inconsistent. But we would treat these almost as diplomatic incidents, requiring prolonged and painstaking negotiation. We would be willing to talk through with our partners the intricacies of how to share a duvet or organise a weekend with the same patient seriousness that diplomats devote to the sub-clauses of a bilateral trade agreement. For we would be sure, as they are, that a detail is rarely just a detail but is wholly worthy of extended discussion, eloquent exposition and much careful listening to the points of the other side. Unfortunately, our society has made this sound like the death of love rather than what it really is: a major help in making love work. Description for Sales People LEARN THE SKILL OF LOVE a refreshing, skills-based take on how to approach relationships. PRACTICAL RELATIONSHIP ADVICE that challenges many preconceived assumptions. HARDCOVER WITH RIBBON MARKER beautifully produced, premium gift format. Details ISBN0993538746 ISBN-10 0993538746 ISBN-13 9780993538742 Format Hardcover Media Book Year 2016 Publication Date 2016-12-01 Pages 120 Imprint The School of Life Press Country of Publication United Kingdom DEWEY 158.2 Language English Series The School of Life Library UK Release Date 2016-12-01 AU Release Date 2016-12-01 NZ Release Date 2016-12-01 Illustrations 3 Illustrations, color Publisher The School of Life Press Audience General Author The School of Life We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:168344960;

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